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American - Comedian Born: July 7, 1966 You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. Jim Gaffigan As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton.


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35 Hilarious Quotes About Fatherhood From Jim Gaffigan "Ninety percent of parenting is hiding iPads from your children." By Caroline Bologna Jul 6, 2018, 05:46 AM EDT | Updated Jul 7, 2020 LEAVE A COMMENT Kevin Winter via Getty Images Jim Gaffigan knows the highs and lows of parenting.


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Every morning when I wake up, my first thought is, 'When can I come back here?' It's the carrot that keeps me motivated. Sometimes going to bed feels like the highlight of my day. Ironically, to my.


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Jim Gaffigan. Peanut Butter, Wow, Peanuts. 3 Copy quote. My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow. Jim Gaffigan. Vegetables, My Favorite, Marshmallow. FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from Aug 07, 2013. 47 Copy quote. I like to think of bread as really bland cake.


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"I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful." ― Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat tags: humor , sleep 77 likes Like "There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn't get to it.


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Best Quotes. I'm from Indiana. I know what you're thinking, Indiana. Mafia. But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.'.


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Quotes [edit] King Baby [edit]. Comedian Jim Gaffigan brings his 'Beyond the Pale Tour' to Merrill Auditorium", Portland Press Herald, Blethen Maine Newspapers Inc., D10. I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or.


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Website. jimgaffigan .com. James Christopher Gaffigan (born July 7, 1966) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. His material often addresses fatherhood, laziness, food, religion, and general observations. He is regarded as a "clean" comic, using little profanity in his routines. He has released several successful comedy.


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Lauren Sarner Posted: January 8, 2024 | Last updated: January 8, 2024 Jim Gaffigan made a risky joke during Sunday night's Golden Globes. While he was onstage introducing the best performance.


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Top 10 Jim Gaffigan Quotes - BrainyQuote. 10. Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby. Jim Gaffigan. 9. I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent. Jim Gaffigan.


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I'm getting fat. as I planned. Luckily, my gut is intentional. I'm actually preparing for a big role. Sure, it's a cinnamon roll. Jim Gaffigan Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks. Jim Gaffigan If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house? Jim Gaffigan


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Updated on 01/14/20 Jim Gaffigan's comic timing is impeccable. He knows how to tickle your funny bone. Self-deprecating humor never fails to elicit laughs, and Gaffigan's a master at it. This Indiana native who got a big lift from late-night host David Letterman in 1993 has several trademarks.


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37 Copy quote The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in? Jim Gaffigan Heaven, Kind, Odd 31 Copy quote If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house? Jim Gaffigan Always Trying, House, Camping


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> Authors 30 Best Jim Gaffigan Quotes With Image Jim Gaffigan | Introduction Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer known for his clever observational humor and trademark deadpan delivery.


When he accurately defined the structure of parenting The Joys of

Jim Gaffigan Quotes About Thanksgiving Quotes about: Thanksgiving. facebook; twitter; googleplus; Acting Animals Babies Belief Books Cancer Childhood Children Church College Comedy Criticism Culture Dad Expectations Extras Fathers Fun Funny Giving Growing Up Gym Hell House Jesus Laziness Letterman Meetings Morning Neighbors Opportunity Parents.


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Dad Is Fat by Jim Gaffigan. 77,056 ratings, 3.77 average rating, 8,034 reviews. Dad Is Fat Quotes Showing 1-30 of 195. "I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.". ― Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat.

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